Before my marriage, I thought something in me was broken. Every time I tried to start a relationship, it ended badly. I could never find commitment, at least, not without sacrificing a great deal on my end.
So, when I met my husband, and we fell in love and began openly talking about our future, it was natural to think he was the one. Part of me believed that marriage could wash away my past, that whatever was broken about me could be fixed. So, I dove headfirst into that matrimonial abyss.
For weeks after the separation, I wore my wedding band. It wasn’t an act of hope. I wasn’t holding onto any sentimentality. I just wanted to be reminded that I was capable of great love, even if this time it didn’t work out.
Eventually the ring came off, and I began to return to my life as it was before marriage. Only, I was no longer the same person. This wasn’t a return at all, but an entirely new path, one that was never visible to me.
The truth is that I was broken before marriage. I was broken because I didn’t think I was worthy of anything that could last. So, it’s strange to me that we call it “heartbreak” or a “break up” because if anything, the ending of my marriage was the most transformative moment of my life yet. The part of my heart that “broke” was actually healed.
I now am self-assured and know that I hold the power to give myself the life that I desire. And in fact, I always had that power. This path was there for me all along, but my insecurity and fear blocked me from recognizing it.
Now, let me tell you, this path is beautiful. It is by the sea and the air smells sweet. I also know that this path is there for you too, if only you choose to see it.
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